Curiosity- The Jets (1985)

On Friday after work, I followed a trail of blood on the sidewalk for about half a block. Little drips of blood, one in a row. At the end of the trail was a gallon jug of 'Muscle Pharm'-brand protein powder, and an open tube of KY Jelly. I tried to forget about it over the weekend, but it's Monday, and my curiosity still has the best of me. I still have so many questions. Nameley, where is this supposed 'Muscle Pharm'? Do they have sheep with really ripped abs, and chickens that could claw your face off?
Also, why is bodybuilding so popular? Bunch'a oily dudes drinking powdered shakes and posing in front of non-oily dudes, and apparently, the lube and blood fit in there somewhere too.

The Crusaders- Street Life (1979)

Although I firmly believe that I can achieve anything I set my mind to, I do not feel that I am cut out for the street life. Day in and day out, while at work, I observe street people in their natural environment, and I have been able to discern that there are two main reasons for my hesitance on this matter: (1) my monthly eyeliner budget, and (2) I would be apt to complain at the soup kitchens that "soup is not exactly a meal". Also, the rats.

Gary Brown & The GB Experience- The Crown (1983)

You know, I bet it's tough for extraterrestrials, while looking down to planet earth with their giant alien telescopes, to watch all of the chicks at bachelorette parties wearing crowns made of little fake plastic dicks and guys wearing woolen toques with tank tops on the hottest days of summer, and still believe that we are the ones worried about being invaded by them.

Shalamar- Games (1987)

I guess the kind of games I like the most are the ones that make me look smart (Scrabble Junior), ones that sound delicious (Candyland), and ones that win me small amounts of pocket change (slot machines). The games I enjoy the least are ones that point out my irresponsibility with finances (Monopoly), ones that surround you with old people (Bingo), and every other game beyond Scrabble Junior, Candyland, and slot machines.
You know what? Scratch that. Did you guys ever play Mall Madness? That game is pretty fun, too.