Saturday, June 30, 2012

Evelyn "Champagne" King- Out Of Control (1984)

Whenever I kick something on the ground, the same thing resounds in my head. "No baby birds no baby birds please no baby birds", because nine times out of ten, it is a goddamn baby bird.
I love the fact that we have enough clean air to support urban wildlife and all, but the dead baby bird situation in this city is truly out of control.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Shalamar- A Night to Remember (1982)

My partner works on a rotating schedule that often leaves me making my own dinner for weeks at a time, which means cheese and crackers (better known as 'chackers'), mixing diet sodas to create new, cancer-causing flavors, and, in one particularly regrettable instance, frog's legs from a sketchy Chinese Buffet. Now, truth be told, I could have been less adventurous and left the slimy legs steaming in the tray, as it appeared they had done for hours prior, but I'll tell you this much: you don't get a night to remember out of not eating the legs. Am I right, folks? Am I?

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Alvin Fields- Special Delivery (1981)

I love Japanese food and all, but I will not eat sunomono salad or cone sushi in a restaurant.
These are "delivery only" dishes. 
You see, I just can't figure out how to eat the cone sushi gracefully, and as the sunomono,  I have always been confused as to whether you are supposed to drink the sweet vinegar dressing, or leave it in the bowl.
To leave the broth in a bowl of soup would be rude, and would signal a distaste in the dish (which, I assure you, is quite the opposite when it comes to refreshing Japanese salads).
The waiter comes by, and always asks if I am finished, and, not wanting to look like an uncultured dick, I am unsure of how to reply. "Uhhhh, I don't know? You tell me?"

Friday, June 8, 2012

Gwen McCrae- Keep The Fire Burning (1982)

This year, I turn 31, which, I believe, is the exact year I start getting birthday cards with a picture of a cake burning down an entire building.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Leroy Burgess- Stranger (1983)

Although they were played in multi-national campaigns to millions and millions of children, I am certain that nobody was affected by the scare-tactic PSA ads of the eighties as much as I.
If you would have asked me, at a mere seven years old, where my life was headed, I would tell you about the almost-certainty of an electrical fire, in which I would be expected to save my entire family from our burning house, along with the fact that I would be absconded and raised by a creepy stranger with a giant moustache and a beat-up van full of candy, puppies, and drugs (which, on second thought, might not have been so bad after all).