Kenny Moore- It Only Takes A Minute (1982)

It only takes a minute to realize that a catchy song like 'Hotline Bling' was released solely for the purpose of boozey-breathed drunk bitches to scream-request it at the club "because it's my friend's biiiiiiiiiiiithday". 

The Brothers Johnson- I'll Be Good To You (1976)

I was burning some sage and incense to give my place some good house-selling vibes, and a neighbor comes down and accuses me of smoking pot, and it's like yo, you can kick in any time now, sage.

Aurra- Perfect Date (1984)

My boyfriend took me out on the perfect date this weekend. It started simple enough: sushi, a drive, letting me smoke a joint in the car while we drive around downtown listened to Future jams that he had downloaded earlier in the week. Fifteen months in, and I'm still smitten with the guy. As he pulls up to the front of my building, he looks in my eyes and says something more panty-melting than all the love sonnets in the world: "I've got a half bag of Sour Patch Kids in my backpack. Let's go inside".

Hot And Sassy- Let's Funk It Up (1980)

Yesterday, I stood on a corner downtown. Across from me was a human-Terminator type stretching his calves, waiting for the light to turn, and wearing only running shorts and sneakers. I leaned into the guy beside me and said "Apparently the great shirt shortage of 2015 is way worse than anyone thought". The guy beside me smirked, and held up his hand for a high-five. Sassin' ain't easy, but it sho' is fun.