Yvonne Gage- Garden Of Eve (1981)

The Garden of Eden was doomed to fail. You can't put two naked adults in a segregated area, and expect that they won't start looking at each other's hoo-hoos out of sheer boredom. Like, I spend twenty minutes alone in my apartment, and I'm channel-surfing to see which program is currently showing the most cleve'.

Pleasure- Sending My Love (1982)

Being in super, ultra, crazy love has been amazing for most things in my life, but my Netflix "to watch" list is currently staring at me like "What the fuck? We had a good thing going for a while. I have needs, too. You were my world, girl".

The Spinners- Right Or Wrong (1984)

World hunger and violence are a day-to-day reality, but seeing one of those hardcore outdoorsy dudes smugly riding a unicycle to work in a snowstorm really makes me wonder where the fuck we went wrong as a society.

Evelyn 'Champagne' King- Sweet Delight (1980)

Having an obsessive compulsion probably sucks most of the time, but when the bathtub is scrubbed crazy clean, the rough skin on your foot has been picked off with laser precision, and you are the confident person in the world that your oven knobs are all in the 'off' position, it might feel kind-of OCD-elightful for a fleeting moment.

Central Line- Time For Some Fun (1984)

I wish that the ad execs would just quit trying to make Diet Coke seem like it's a whole lot of fun, when everyone knows it's for diabetics and chubby senior high school students trying to fit into their prom dress.