Shotgun- Ladies' Choice (1982)

Although it seems like it would be a dream come true, I wouldn't really recommend becoming the ladies' choice, unless you really like stickers and unicorns and sparkles and pink and talking about what makes you sad. Sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for, or you'll end up in pigtails.

Pure Energy- Spaced Out (1983)

The whole genre of "space boogie" makes a lot of sense to me. If I were an extra terrestrial, listening to music from space, I would hear all of the mock-alien voices and lasers, and think it was a totally adorable and endearing tribute, like when you tell your Asian friend "me so solly" after kicking over his tea.

Dr. Togo- Be Free (1982)

Today, the owner of my local mom-and-pop groceria told me I was "very beautiful", and that I had "lost weight". I don't hear this shit often. Not gonna lie, I was taken aback.
I thanked him, then paused, strained for words.
"Uhh... Does this mean I get my milk for free?".
The answer was, unfortunately, no.

Eleanor Goodman- Sneak Preview (1987)

The only people that ever go to the sneak preview at a theatre are critics, film-buffs, and people with the unfortunate fetish of pricey concession stands.