I-Level- All My Love (1983)

I often wonder what the equivalent of 'all of my love' would be in grape soda. I bet it would be at least enough to properly stock the cooler at 7-11.

Odyssey- Inside Out (1982)

I would never want to be turned inside-out, unless I could sucker someone else into cleaning the guts off of the floor afterward.

The Time- Get it Up (1981)

I think I really would've enjoyed being a young woman in the early eighties, beyond my sneaking suspicion that I would be really into guys that look like The Time.
My first sexual encounters were confusing enough, without having to explain to my parents why there's glitter and coke-sweat stains on my bedsheets, and why Prince is in our bathroom 'freshening up'.

Gwen Guthrie- Seventh Heaven (Larry Levan Remix) (1983)

If everyone strives to get to Seventh Heaven, then Fifth Heaven and Sixth Heaven must be total shitholes.

Silvia Striplin- Give Me Your Love (1981)

True fact: opening your mouth in photos will always give the appearance that you are having a nice time at a party.
However, if you are at a party with a Playboy boat captain brotha and two saucy euro-twins, opening your mouth in photos is merely a gesture... The 'nice time' is already implied.

Genius of Love- Tom Tom Club (1981)

"Whatchoo gonna do when you get outta jail?"
"I'm going to knock over another liquor store, hurt some people, and probably just go back to jail".

Ready For The World- Long Time Coming (1986)

If there's one hairstyle that should've gained a little respect by now, it's the Jheri curl (if not for the price of the hair products alone!). Also, there's no better way to say "I was here" than to brush your head up against any hard surface, and leave a perfect greasy imprint of your shiny curls. Grafitti artists, put away your spray cans and Sharpies. Soul-Glo is the new tagging medium.

Janice Christie- Candy Love (1987)

I guess the only thing better than music that sounds like lasers are actual, real lasers (like the kind that blow up entire cities or the kind that fix your grandmother's cataracts).

Teena Marie- Starchild (1984)

I'm pretty sure this was written for Rick James, but was also heavily influenced by narcotics and shiny things. A few months ago, while we were in Edmonton, we thought we saw Rick James at the bank machine, but it probably wasn't him.

Jeffrey Osborne - Plane Love (Remix) (1983)

I found this song a few years ago, and reminds me of acid rain and dirty hotel pools and expensive furs. The background music is busy, with six or seven different samples looped over one another, and Jeffrey Osborne has a voice that makes you think "I bet that guy wears classy cologne".