Kevin McCord- Never Say (1985)

If you're wondering when you should divulge your love of beef jerky to a new friend, the answer should be "never".

George Duke- Shine (1982)

I have been working for years on a simple mathematical formula that equates shininess to deliciousness when eyeballing the endless crap-shoot of a Chinese buffet.

Samson & Delilah- I Can Feel Your Love Slippin Away (1984)

I used to think that I did far too many wild things when I was a kid, but as I watch my youth slip away, I can't help but wonder why teens don't do more stupid things while they have the balls to get away with it.

The Crown Heights Affair - Dreaming a Dream (1975)

You know, maybe it's all the heavy sleeping medication that I take, but I would just love to have one dream that didn't involve me butchering my own hair, having my clothes fall off in a public place, or letting someone gross stick their hands down my pants. Just. One.

Change- Paradise (1981)

I often wonder if I should change my 'Thug Life' tattoo to 'Hug Life', because it's a great way to trick people into giving me physical affection.

Donna Summer- If It Hurts Just A Little (1982)

If it hurts just a little, then whoa, you're totally doing it wrong. 

Change- Hold Tight (1981)

If you ever happen upon a leprechaun at the end of a rainbow, hold onto that little green fucker tight, and never let him go. You never know when you're going to need some extra coin, and leprechauns are basically tiny, annoying ATMS.

Evelyn "Champage" King - Back To Love (1982)

When I was younger, 'back to school' used to be all about new outfits, new crushes, and new opportunities to learn. Now, it just means a longer, more disorganized line at the Domino's by my work, and a greater chance that someone will be an asshole to me on the bus.

Steve Parks - Movin' In The Right Direction (1981)

Until I saw the trailers for the new 'One Direction' movie, I had no idea there was boys in the band that weren't named 'Harry".

Jean Carne - Was That All There Was (1979)

I can distinctly remember sitting on the end of the bed after my first sexual encounter, thinking to myself "Was that all that was"?
I kept thinking there might be a second, better, part or something, but no dice. That's it, kid. Get used to it.