First Love- Give Me Your Love (1985)

Nature plays a cruel, cruel trick on us by making those first few attempts at love the most intense, hopeful, breathless versions that you will feel in your entire life, but coinciding them with braces, bad skin, puberty, and your "colored denim overalls" phase.

Geraldine Hunt- Can't Fake The Feeling (1980)

People say you should "fake it until you make it", but I think a better idea would be to "fake being sick, and go home and drink hot chocolate and read a magazine" instead.

Midnight Star- Midas Touch (1986)

I don't know, man. Having the "Midas Touch" would be a double-edged sword. On one hand, everything you touch turns to gold. On the other hand, say goodbye to your genitals.

Teena Marie- Must Be Magic (1981)

I took notes health class. I work in the medical profession. I am a woman of common sense.
I'll tell you, though: when somebody does that "detachable thumb" trick, I never like to discount the fact that the person might be magic and/or involved in some sorts of suburban witchcraft offshoot. Up until now, I have been 100% incorrect, but it still feels like a worthy suspicion.

Sylvia Striplin- You Can't Turn Me Away (1980)

I don't drink like I used to, but I do recall that it is a very humbling experience to be cut off at the bar. When you (the person that doesn't mind paying $8.00 for a cocktail), offers the bartender (the person that is hired to take your money and get you drunk) a bunch of money to get you drunk, and they turn you away?
Boy, it's time to go home.

High Fashion- Feelin' Lucky Lately (1982)

I know my doctor told me to stay away from fried foods, but I'm feelin' lucky lately, like the skin of a million KFC thighs could not make my not-so-awesome cholesterol score any worse. Either that, or I'm in major, major, major denial.

Kwick- You're The Kind Of Girl That I Like (1981)

If I was into chicks, my perfect ladyfriend would be independent, strong-willed, and intelligent, with an extremely sizable posterior.

Purple Gang- Say It (1987)

If Prince started a street gang, initiation would be painful, glittery, and unbearably funky.

Wish- Nice and Soft (1981)

One of the finer pleasures in life, if I were to be really honest here, is to take my clean laundry, all nice and soft and warm from the dryer, and pile it into some form of nest and lay in it like a giant, weird, depressed bird.
FYI: fabric softener is optional, but adds greatly to the experience.

TC Curtis- Should Have Known Better (1985)

Man, I'm the one that should've known better... The generic "crescent rolls" are never going to be as buttery soft and delightful as the Pillsbury ones. What was I thinking?