Kenny Moore- It Only Takes A Minute (1982)

It only takes a minute to realize that a catchy song like 'Hotline Bling' was released solely for the purpose of boozey-breathed drunk bitches to scream-request it at the club "because it's my friend's biiiiiiiiiiiithday". 

The Brothers Johnson- I'll Be Good To You (1976)

I was burning some sage and incense to give my place some good house-selling vibes, and a neighbor comes down and accuses me of smoking pot, and it's like yo, you can kick in any time now, sage.

Aurra- Perfect Date (1984)

My boyfriend took me out on the perfect date this weekend. It started simple enough: sushi, a drive, letting me smoke a joint in the car while we drive around downtown listened to Future jams that he had downloaded earlier in the week. Fifteen months in, and I'm still smitten with the guy. As he pulls up to the front of my building, he looks in my eyes and says something more panty-melting than all the love sonnets in the world: "I've got a half bag of Sour Patch Kids in my backpack. Let's go inside".

Hot And Sassy- Let's Funk It Up (1980)

Yesterday, I stood on a corner downtown. Across from me was a human-Terminator type stretching his calves, waiting for the light to turn, and wearing only running shorts and sneakers. I leaned into the guy beside me and said "Apparently the great shirt shortage of 2015 is way worse than anyone thought". The guy beside me smirked, and held up his hand for a high-five. Sassin' ain't easy, but it sho' is fun.

Junior- Mama Used To Say (1982)

Say what you will about homeless dudes, hipsters have been ripping off their style for like fifteen years straight. They may not be able to maintain housing, but nobody in the world better understands the intricacies of flannel shirt toppers.

Howard Johnson- Much Too Much (1983)

I watched a lot of 60 Minutes on CBS as a small child, and Morley Safer said that 1 in 25 people were a sociopath. 25 was also the size of the majority of my elementary school classes. I studied my mom's true crime books cover to cover looked for the signs in my classmates. At the end of the year, after much too much close examination of my fellow students, it became painfully clear that I was the one that should leave the second grade and start figuring out how to procure black market weapons.

The Isley Brothers- Between The Sheets (1983)

Some people feel autumn's cool chill in the air and think of it as "sweater weather", "boot weather", or a great time for pumpkin-flavored everything.
Me? I think of it as "that few months where it's too damn cold to fuck on top of the covers".

The Live Band- A Chance For Hope (1982)

If the Sarah of 2005 would have known that the Sarah of 2015 could wake up hungover, and order Korean fried chicken to the door without even speaking to a single human, I think I probably would've had a whole lot more hope for the future in general.

The Next Movement- Let's Work It Out (1982)

Though I am not about to blab my sexual fantasies all over the internet, it's safe to say that every single one begins with me getting the day off of work.

Marva King- Feels Right (1981)

Life would be so much easier if I just got everything right the first time around, but the learning curve is so much more severe and permanent if I fuck things up real good a few times first.