Junior- Mama Used To Say (1982)

Say what you will about homeless dudes, hipsters have been ripping off their style for like fifteen years straight. They may not be able to maintain housing, but nobody in the world better understands the intricacies of flannel shirt toppers.

Howard Johnson- Much Too Much (1983)

I watched a lot of 60 Minutes on CBS as a small child, and Morley Safer said that 1 in 25 people were a sociopath. 25 was also the size of the majority of my elementary school classes. I studied my mom's true crime books cover to cover looked for the signs in my classmates. At the end of the year, after much too much close examination of my fellow students, it became painfully clear that I was the one that should leave the second grade and start figuring out how to procure black market weapons.

The Isley Brothers- Between The Sheets (1983)

Some people feel autumn's cool chill in the air and think of it as "sweater weather", "boot weather", or a great time for pumpkin-flavored everything.
Me? I think of it as "that few months where it's too damn cold to fuck on top of the covers".

The Live Band- A Chance For Hope (1982)

If the Sarah of 2005 would have known that the Sarah of 2015 could wake up hungover, and order Korean fried chicken to the door without even speaking to a single human, I think I probably would've had a whole lot more hope for the future in general.

The Next Movement- Let's Work It Out (1982)

Though I am not about to blab my sexual fantasies all over the internet, it's safe to say that every single one begins with me getting the day off of work.

Marva King- Feels Right (1981)

Life would be so much easier if I just got everything right the first time around, but the learning curve is so much more severe and permanent if I fuck things up real good a few times first.

Skyy- Call Me (1981)

I feel sorry for today's kids. With caller ID and IP addresses and whatnot, they will never know the thirty seconds of soul-less joy that comes with prank-calling someone in the middle of the night.

Pike- Good Feelings (1982)

This morning, Reggie squatted over, and pooped on, a crushed, wet cowboy hat, and nothing in the world could've been more effective at conveying my feelings about the past two weeks in this city.

Prestige- Cheating (1983)

You'll never see so many people visibly mulling over the intricacies of the "eating is not cheating" theory as you will during the ten days of the Calgary Stampede.

Aretha Franklin- Every Girl (Wants My Guy) (1983)

I'd never really dated anyone in the public eye before, so I had no idea that walking around with a "I get good dick face" was going to get me a slew of haters, but dear jesus that shit is worth it.