Bronner Brothers- Fantasy (1986)

Bubba Sparxx told Buzzfeed he disappeared off the face of the earth because he got addicted to opium, and lived most of his life in a drug-induced fantasy world, and here I was this whole time thinking that it was because it stopped being 2001.

Cameo- She's Strange (1984)

The other day, I attempted to flirt with a handsome gentleman by way of scented candle. I guess I should have considered my approach as some sort of foreshadowing, because if you come on to someone in a strange way, you're setting the tone for the entire encounter (which was, by the way, super, super fucking weird).

The Jets- You Got It All (1985)

If someone asked me to name my favorite song by The Jets, I would probably say this one, but first of all, why the fuck are you making me choose, you sadistic bastard? Secondly, the only actual acceptable answer to that question is "all of them".

Chaka Khan - I Know You, I Live You (1981)

Owning an electric toothbrush makes me feel as if I live in a magical world where dentists aren't a 'thing' at all. 

Eddie Murphy- Party All The Time (1985)

A few nights ago, I spent a whole bunch of time wondering where the fuck I put my Snoop Lion bodysuit so I could wear it to a party, before I remembered that I'm 32 years old, and maybe the age gods finally stepped in.

Shalamar- Make That Move (1980)

Do not try to make a move on me at the bus stop, while I'm in my work clothes, with a Fresca in your hand, because it really does not reflect well on either of us.

Luther Vandross- Never Too Much (1981)

It's not atypical in Calgary at this time of the year to feel like Spring is playing a cruel game of "just the tip" with us, but this relentless teasing is getting to be all too much.
p.s. Between the blooming flowers in all non-Luther scenes, and Luther's easter-egg jacket, this is officially the Springy-est video of all time. 

Postive Force- We Got The Funk (1979)

I'm fairly positive that Josh Peck didn't ever lose that much weight, he just became Adam Richman, continued to pork out, and let his slim replacement handle all of the future pop-ins on Disney shows.

Michael Jonzen- Burnin' Up (1986)

I'm a real plan-ahead person, so immediately after chopping a bowl of Thai chilies, I rushed my hands to the sink before they started to burn. I turned on the faucet, and water straight from the deepest, hottest pits of hell came lava-ing out of the tap and onto my hands. It was kind-of like a 'Final Destination' for minor burns that kinda sting for an hour.

Isabel Roberts- Rhythm Of Your Love (1986)

People say that white dudes have no rhythm, but shrinky, jerky, "I gotta pee pee" dances ARE a rhythm, assholes.