TC Curtis- Should Have Known Better (1985)

Man, I'm the one that should've known better... The generic "crescent rolls" are never going to be as buttery soft and delightful as the Pillsbury ones. What was I thinking?

Sass- Much Too Much (1982)

Too much sass will lose you friends and get you slapped in the face.
On the contrary, just the right amount of sass will get you anywhere, baby.
It's true, you know.
I'm pretty sure that 84% of my lifetime successes have been due to sass, with the remaining 16% attributed to dispensing free medical advice, always having pot, and the fact that I can bake a cake that would make even the iciest of hearts melt into a pool on the ground.

Sparkle- Handsome Man (Larry Levan Remix) (1979)

They say that a symmetrical, round face is considered the most handsome by nature...
On the very opposite end of that spectrum sits Jay Leno, all pointy and alone.

Womack & Womack- Teardrops (1988)

Linda Womack's jean jacket in this video is my #1 favorite jean jacket of all time.
I have spent 22 years coveting this particular jacket with no success in finding one of my own, and I basically live at the thrift store.
Tough break, kid, but like the movie 'Highlander': there can be only one.

Cherrelle- I Didn't Mean To Turn You On (1984)

I always thought the dude that took Cherelle out should give the girl a break.
She was probably just trying to score some free drinks, a cheeseburger, and maybe a discount pass to the amusement park.
Come on, guy. Don't get it twisted... She wasn't trying to turn you on.

The Fantastic Aleems ft Leery Burgess- Get Down Friday Night (1982) & Oliver Cheatham- Get Down Saturday Night (1983)

I would have to believe that Oliver Cheatham's writing process for this particular track was very similar to the time that I got some really good weed, and thought I had composed the world's most fantastic song all by myself, until I realized I had just penned 'Funkytown', save for two or three spare notes, and mildly different words.

Change ft. Luther Vandross- Glow of Love (1980)

The radiance one exudes when newly in love can be attributed, mainly, to a combination of hopefulness, hormones, movie theater popcorn, and silicone-based lubricant.

James Ingram & Michael McDonald- Yah Mo B There (1983)

I don't know why, but I'm having the strangest deja vu that Michael McDonald and/or James Ingram have tried to trick me into Christianity in the past. I don't remember if they were going door-to-door, or handing out free Jesus fish bumper stickers at the mall, or just praised the Lord's name in an interview, but I know they've tried to get sneaky with me at some point...
Nice try, guys. I like my Sundays open, and plenty of filthy language and low-cut blouses.

Morris Day- Color Of Success (1985)

People often say that the color of success is green, but I think the true color of success is gold. Studded with sapphires. In the shape of a panther. On a large chain. Around my neck.

GQ- I Love (The Skin You're In) (1981)

Don't worry so much about your face, ladies. In all reality, the only men that care about the condition of a lady's skin are catty homosexuals and that Silence of The Lambs dude with the well in his basement.