The System- You're In My System (1983)

I can't imagine the two guys from 'The System' hung out much after work. They would not wish each other any particular harm, in fact they would be rather indifferent to one another.
Glitter-wearing computer nerds that play synthesizers and computers at the same time just don't have that much in common with pleather-wrapped fancy-boys that spend eight hours a day dancing and pouting in front of a mirror. They probably wrote this song over the phone. It is uncertain of whether they ever shot their scenes in the same room. That outer-space background could be hiding a true breakdown in communication between two band mates.

Total Contrast- What You Gonna Do About It (1985)

Man, dudes have really lost the art of wearing a blazer as a separate. Nowadays, if a guy is wearing a blazer without a suit, there will most certainly be some sort of airbrushed glitter rose or rhinestone skull on the back, it is a sure bet.
Not like guys used to wear blazers... Blazers used to mean two things: business, and pure class (or, interchangeably, cocaine and white loafers).
Plus, if a black guy is wearing a blazer with an all-white outfit, then your dad might not get as mad when you bring him home for the first time.

Fatback Band- I Found Lovin' (Club Mix) (1983) & Ca$hflow- Mine All Mine (1988)

Song twins!

Wanda- I Must Be Dreamin (1982) & Eveyn 'Champagne' King- Love Come Down (1982) & Vicki D- This Beat is Mine (1981)

Song triplets!

Jan Leslie Holmes- I'm Your Superman (1984)

I guess the one thing they don't draw into the Superman comics is the hours and hours psychotherapy (because of the whole "dad abandoned him in a rocket ship and sent him to another planet" thing). He probably takes antidepressants so that he doesn't cry tears of ice or fly off the handle and throw a 7-11 employee through the window when they run out of the blue slurpee.

p.s. John Leslie Holmes? Sissiest name ever.

Gap Band- Outstanding (1982)

I've been considering a little social experiment. I'm going to go into Gap, and put on the biggest, ugliest jeans and see if the sales person still tells me I look "outstanding". I can't shake this feeling that their opinions are less valid than they would have you believe.

Fonda Rae- Over Like A Fat Rat (1982)

Years ago, I lived in Victoria, and would pass by the same homeless girl on the way to work every day. She would be slumped over, her dreadlocks and Cowichan sweater entwined with one another in a mass of fuzz and dirt. Her only friend, a rat that lived in a bucket, was kept beside her at all times. I used to smile to myself as I strolled past- firstly for the irony (what are the odds that a dirty rat and a dirty hippie would find each other in this crazy world and become BFFs?), but mostly for the sitcom potential.

Jupiter Band- Sarah Love (1987)

I love you guys, too!

Shakatak- Watching You (1985)

Oh, you're watching me too? I see. Perhaps it's time to stop handing out my address on ChatRoulette.

Venna- Watching You (1983)

You've been watching me? I see. I guess you probably saw when I spit soup all over the place because my mouth was too frozen to eat because I hadn't been to the dentist since I was taken off my mom's benefit plan when I was nineteen...
Hopefully you were taking a bathroom break when that happened.