La Toya Jackson- Think Twice (1984)

Sometimes, I kind-of feel bad for Latoya Jackson. You know, with all of the family scandals, the negative press, the sliding career, and the fact that she's only fourth-craziest in her family.

Sybil Thomas- Rescue Me (1983)

If someone really wanted to "rescue me", they would keep an eye on the goddamn milk in my fridge for me (before it's floating, in chunks, on top of my coffee).

Freeez- I.O.U. (1983)

I would say that, all in all, my life is pretty much perfect, beyond the fact that I have yet to figure out the semantics of the "all freeze pop" diet.
So far, my biggest hurdle has been constant blue tongue. Also, the constant bouts of scurvy (and sticking to strictly citrus flavors is, unfortunately, not helping as much as I would have hoped).

Steve Harvey- Tonight (1983)

There are two types of Steve Harveys in the world: The type of Steve Harvey that releases a few great funk tracks in the early 80's, and the type of Steve Harvey that has the number one collection of bright, ill-fitting suits, and just won't quit with the terrible jokes.

Rockwell- Somebody's Watching Me (1984)

The next time you feel like you should 'dance like nobody's watching', you should try to remember that I am watching you. Have some humility. Oh, just think of the snappy little comments I will have about your moves and your outfit and the way there's a horny black guy sneaking up on you from behind... On second thought, you may as well knock yourself out, and dance however the fuck you want. It gives me something to do.

p.s. Fun fact- this is my favorite song of all time.

Jones Girls- Who Can I Run To (1979)

The very finest basslines are not characterized by their trunk-shaking thumps, but rather by their 'smoother than KY' riffs.

Bromar- Call Me Up (Extended) (1985)

Call me up- I've been thinking about ways to win "America's Got Talent", and if I don't start unloading some of these ideas, I might explode.
Greasy magicians, a retired military man, computers, fire, homeless dogs, old people, fat people, lasers, the disabled, and a girl dressed as a 'sexy cat'. All in one act.
You try to wrap your head around all of that by yourself.

Raymun- Do You Feel Like I Feel (1983)

Do you guys feel like I feel? Like people are dressing too "shiny" lately? Sometimes, when I'm out, the spotlight will hit someone on the dance floor, and the reflection is blinding. Light beams off of clothes are just as invasive to my personal space as dudes with grabby hands and people who won't stop talking to me (too closely) about why they love dubstep. Also, it makes me nervous to be able to use someone's ass as a mirror.

Rock Candy- I Got Love (1982)

As an adult, the term 'rock candy' has me thinking less about the delicious edible gravel I envisioned as a child, and more about the sugar-related ant problems that may arise.

Mini Curry- Serious (1987)

There are only two times in this world that I get serious: when I lose a loved one, and when I'm stepping up to the buffet table.