Patrice Rushen- Feels So Real (1984)

The connection honestly feels so real when he smiles in my direction and hands me my change, but I have to keep my head on straight in the off-chance that he really does just want me to enjoy my coffee and have a great day.

Whodini- The Freaks Come Out At Night (1984)

I don't know if it's because I was raised in the inner-city, but I always grew up thinking that the freaks came out whenever they damn well please.

Kashif- Stone Love (1983)

The problem with dating as a regular weed smoker is that sometimes, I'm not sure if the person I'm with is super funny and interesting and special, or if I just held that last b-rip in a little too long before I left the house.

p.s. RIP Kashif. Thanks for the music. 

Fat Larry's Band- Looking For Love (1979)

Though I consider myself a strict atheist, the fact that I'm a sneakerhead that can also fit into children's sizes means that someone in the universe is looking out for me.

GQ- Lies (1980)

If I could lie to the world half as well as I lie to my doctor when he asks if I put q-tips all the way into my ears, I'd be running this shit by now.

Tony Jackson- Steppin' Out On The Groove (1983)

I think that the average 80's sitcom relied far too heavily on all of it's fatherless children to have some sort of "dad stepped out to get some milk and never came back" storyline, because when I was a kid, there wasn't a single time that my dad tried to leave the house by himself where I wasn't awfully suspicious of his motives.

Freddie James- Don't Turn Your Back On Love (1982)

In an interesting turn of events, the first time I ever actually wrote the word "duck" in a text was today, and it auto-corrected itself to "dick". It's like my auto-correct needed to put a personal touch onto my sentence, and knows me well enough to know that "duck" is a word I'd typically never actually mean to type.

GQ- I Love The Skin You're In (1980)

This week I officially enter my mid-thirties: a time that involves a lot less political conversation, and a hell of a lot more skincare, than I ever, ever expected.

Final Edition- We're Moving On (1980)

I really hate moving, but the official escape from the chicken soup-smelling hallway and general dickery of the building I am currently in totally justifies the week of miserable hard-ass labor.

p.s. There is like one hundred million great synth lines in this song, and the bass line is dope as fuck, so please listen on headphones!

Shotgun- Falling In Love (1980)

It's hard to believe, in 2015, that dues are still falling for the sexy decoys on the Maury. Like, have you never stayed home from work sick for the day, man? Scratch that, have you ever even had a job that took you away from daytime TV? Nowadays, getting tricked by the Maury Show is on the same level as truly believing that a Nigerian prince is e-mailing you to front him some cash.

Claudette Polite- I'll Come When You Call Me (1987)

Typically I'm the one walking into places reeking of weed, so when I showed up at the Kevin Hart concert on Monday and was the only person that wasn't fresh out of a hot-boxed car, I almost felt like I was being impolite. 

Kleeer- Running Back To You (1981)

There are times that I wish I was a celebrity. Not for the fame, or the money, or the public recognition, but rather the unwavering trust that the general public has in your basic opinions. For example, as far as I am aware, Shaquille O'Neal is not a physician, nor has ever set foot in a chiropractic school, but when that dude starts to talk about back pain in the commercials, I'm like, well, this guy probably knows what he's talking about.

Love Come Down- Evelyn "Champagne" King (1982)

As much as I bitch and moan and complain about Halloween, it's tough to deny that for some folks, it's a good form of escapism for one night. It must be a harsh comedown for someone to go to bed a slutty nurse on the 31st, and wake up back to being Brandy, super slutty Denny's waitress, on the 1st. 

Kenny Moore- It Only Takes A Minute (1982)

It only takes a minute to realize that a catchy song like 'Hotline Bling' was released solely for the purpose of boozey-breathed drunk bitches to scream-request it at the club "because it's my friend's biiiiiiiiiiiithday". 

The Brothers Johnson- I'll Be Good To You (1976)

I was burning some sage and incense to give my place some good house-selling vibes, and a neighbor comes down and accuses me of smoking pot, and it's like yo, you can kick in any time now, sage.

Aurra- Perfect Date (1984)

My boyfriend took me out on the perfect date this weekend. It started simple enough: sushi, a drive, letting me smoke a joint in the car while we drive around downtown listened to Future jams that he had downloaded earlier in the week. Fifteen months in, and I'm still smitten with the guy. As he pulls up to the front of my building, he looks in my eyes and says something more panty-melting than all the love sonnets in the world: "I've got a half bag of Sour Patch Kids in my backpack. Let's go inside".

Hot And Sassy- Let's Funk It Up (1980)

Yesterday, I stood on a corner downtown. Across from me was a human-Terminator type stretching his calves, waiting for the light to turn, and wearing only running shorts and sneakers. I leaned into the guy beside me and said "Apparently the great shirt shortage of 2015 is way worse than anyone thought". The guy beside me smirked, and held up his hand for a high-five. Sassin' ain't easy, but it sho' is fun.

Junior- Mama Used To Say (1982)

Say what you will about homeless dudes, hipsters have been ripping off their style for like fifteen years straight. They may not be able to maintain housing, but nobody in the world better understands the intricacies of flannel shirt toppers.

Howard Johnson- Much Too Much (1983)

I watched a lot of 60 Minutes on CBS as a small child, and Morley Safer said that 1 in 25 people were a sociopath. 25 was also the size of the majority of my elementary school classes. I studied my mom's true crime books cover to cover looked for the signs in my classmates. At the end of the year, after much too much close examination of my fellow students, it became painfully clear that I was the one that should leave the second grade and start figuring out how to procure black market weapons.

The Isley Brothers- Between The Sheets (1983)

Some people feel autumn's cool chill in the air and think of it as "sweater weather", "boot weather", or a great time for pumpkin-flavored everything.
Me? I think of it as "that few months where it's too damn cold to fuck on top of the covers".